For days, weeks, years now I’ve been grappling with lackluster day to day slogging through life. I yearned to reach, once again, that “one brief shining moment”, that Pocket of Perfect Peace I was once given.
I’ve had good moments, near perfect moments since. But, I’ve never again experienced that “perfect” moment.
Did it bother me?
Yes. I did not understand why “only once.”
This particular morning found me surrounded by seven books (which included two bibles plus my notebook.) I was trying to concentrate on my morning devotional but a crowded mind made it impossible.
I dropped everything and picked up Essential Writings by Father James Martin. The next excerpt was Shadows in Prayer from Motions of the Soul.
I was introduced to the “Seven D’s”. (Definitions and Descriptions; Dryness; Desolation; Doubt; Disbelief; Depression; Despair). Also, for the first time, I came across the writings of St. John of the Cross. And his 16th century poem, “Dark Night,” frequently referred to as “The Dark Night of the Soul.”
It’s way beyond my capabilities to analyze or condense what I read. But one phrase resounded.
“A person in darkness feels isolated from God. Yet, with patience…one can let go of the need to feel God’s presence constantly and gradually move through the darkness to discover greater intimacy with God.” (Essential Writings, Fr. James Martin.)
The more I read the more I realized that saints throughout the ages had only “One Brief Shining Moment.” It set their feet on the course they were to follow and the rest of the time they slogged away. (Please note I do not consider myself to be on a saintly path!)
I put away my books and took the pups for a walk. And as I passed the green dump truck on my left and the sailboats on my right, THAT voice came loud and clear in my right ear. (It’s always in my right ear),
“NOW YOU’RE GETTING ME.”
Cyber hugs all. Love and prayers and blessings.